Our new favourite airline is Kulula

We reckon this company is a reason to move to South Africa. Weather, people, big tournaments and safari's aside, this airline sells South Africa to us! 

Airlines and airports are a world of compliance and one in which you have that burning desire inside of you to make a joke about a bomb or liquids or something to try and lighten the mood. You don't dare though as you can, and probably will, be arrested for it. Kulula airlines are a breath of fresh air and it would be nice to see them in Britain maybe poking fun at some of our low cost airlines. 

How would they do it? Toilet paper printed with Ryanair money, flight times exaggerated by 2 hours so that Easyjet always look on time (but still fail!)?

We will leave it to Kulula and if our boss won't move us to SA, will Kulula please come to the UK?

The pictures of the plane’s livery hints at the humour and below are some quotes from the Kulula staff on the flights. You can view more pictures of the plane livery in our photo albums on our facebook page.

Quotes from on board Kulula airlines;

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

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On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

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On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

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"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this aeroplane."

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"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

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After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

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From a Kulula employee: “Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

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"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."

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Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

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"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

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"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

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And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

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Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.”

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Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our aeroplane to the gate!"

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Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:

"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

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An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.

Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"

The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

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After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal".

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Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."

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Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this aeroplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

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A plane was taking off from Durban Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.

While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

Direct Mail Part 5: Increasing effectiveness

The final instalment of our Direct Mail series is just some quick hints and tips that can increase your mailshot effectiveness.

1. Change the headline on your letter. Your product may not change but your opener can
2. Change the timing of your mailshot. By varying the day of the week we increased readership of our own e-mailer by over 20%.
3. Focus on a different product benefit each time to see what works best
4. Get the right message to the right people. Send different messages to different people based on demographics
5. Include a brochure as well as a letter.
6. Include a free gift. It can convince people to respond
7. Learn from experience. Use your direct mail to improve your data
8. Offer a payment option such as interest free credit
9. Provide an early bird incentive. Prompt early action by limiting the time an offer is valid for
10. Offer a number of ways in which people can get in touch.

I hope you have found this series useful and if you wish anymore information please do not hesitate to contact us on;

01356 625033

enquiries@printmatters.info

PrintMatters on Facebook www.printmatters.info/facebook 

Direct Mail Part 4:

Last week we discussed how to successfully design your mailshot so this week we will make the natural progression onto production and despatch.

There are a few things you have to decide when producing your mailshot mainly whether it will be a standard letter or a fully designed mailer. PrintMatters can do both for you.

The important thing is that you maintain your database to assist mailshot production. Accuracy of information is key as an up-to-date database;

•  Increases response rates
• Reduces production and postage costs
• Helps ensure compliance with data protection regulations

So what about responses?

You really need to sort out your response method before you send out your direct mail. If you have not planned your response then a warm prospect can quickly turn to a cold shoulder.

Don’t fall into the trap of swamping yourself in responses.

Start off with smaller mailshots initially to gain an idea of the feedback you will receive, and then slowly increase the volume until you are comfortable.

There is no point in performing a large mailshot then not being able to handle the responses. This would not only result in a lost order, it will be a lost prospect that will be reluctant to do business with you again.

Next week I will give you the final part in our Direct Mail series.

Direct Mail Part 3: Writing your mailshot

Last week we discussed how to plan your mailshot. This week we will cover the main points to consider when writing your mailshot.

1.     After your greeting entice the reader with a Main benefit headline.

2.     Expand on this benefit

3.     Give other reasons to buy the product or service

4.     Give reassurance such as highlighting popularity or giving a guarantee

5.     Explain in one sentence what makes your company special

6.     Give details of opening hours, locations or just basic contact details encouraging the customer to respond

7.     Stipulate an end date to the benefit to encourage a quick response

8.     If you wish you can also include a further incentive, free gift, giveaway or such like to be redeemed by returning a voucher.

Of course you can write a non-sales mailer which could be thanking customers for repeat business, season’s greetings or congratulating on special dates. All the while highlighting other products or services you offer. Be discreet.

When designing the letter make sure to keep it simple, do not be afraid of white space.

Finally the envelope, we all receive special money off colourful envelopes but this can have an adverse effect. If you are not doing a large mailshot why not handwrite the envelopes?

You always open those ones first don’t you!

Next week we will discuss production and dispatch. 01356 625033 enquiries@printmatters.info 

Direct Mail Part 2: Planning your mailshot

Last week I discussed how direct mail can help you. This week you need to decide what you want to realistically achieve from your mailshot. Set yourself some targets whether it is number of enquiries, revenue generated or encouraging visits to your website.

If you want to target new customers then you will need new names and addresses. An external supplier can source names for you or you can generate the data yourself.

• Business directories
• Online sources such as yell.com
• Other peoples lists. Look at the person sitting next to you; they are a non-competing business in your area so why not swap lists?

To get a response you have to understand what people respond to.  Self interest and the need for news are two things that you need to focus on.

People take notice if they can make money, save money, save time or impress others.

Now you have grabbed the attention you need to give the recipient the opportunity to respond.

This could be a tear off slip, an order form an entry form for a competition. Whatever it is, make sure to gain more contact information.

Next week we will discuss writing and designing the mailshot.

enquiries@printmatters.info 01356 625033

How does Direct Mail help my business?

Over the next five weeks I will be enlightening you all to the benefits of direct mail.

Part one is working out how direct mail will help your business.

The reason why direct mail is so effective is because the first thing that people do when they get home from work, or arrive in work, is check the mail.

Direct mail helps you to achieve the following objectives;

• Increase sales to existing customers
• Build customer loyalty
• Re-establish contact with lapsed customers
• Generate new business

Direct mail does not suit everyone but here are some types of companies and what they can achieve by using it;

Ø Small businesses – a cost effective way of building relationships with old and new customers

Ø Start-ups – with a relatively small outlay for direct mail this is a great way to get your business off the ground with potentially high returns

Ø Retailers – use direct mail to build customer relationships and develop reputation of the brand

Ø Sales – to generate leads to follow up or to launch new products

Ø Events – get the relevant timely message out such as insurance renewals

Ø Fundraisers – one of the most effective use of direct mail to generate huge amounts of money

Next week we will talk about planning mail shots. 
PrintMatters; enquiries@printmatters.info. 01356 625 033.

Direct Mail tips

If you’re not contacting your customers, you can bet that someone will be. Imagine if that someone was your competitor?

The majority of businesses lose customers through lack of communication not bad service or poor products.

Contact your current customers via targeted direct mail. They already know how to spend money with you so it’s a lot easier to get them spending again.

Why not obtain a mailing list based on your current customer’s profile. Did you know you can receive up to 1000 business contacts from a local Business association absolutely free?

Repeat

In order for your message to be noticed you have to repeat it at least 3 times.

Personalise

Remember PrintMatters are a digital print company so we can personalise every individual piece of mail.

Be friendly

When writing the mailer write it to an individual and it will sound much more appealing.

Dont drown them

You want to create an interest in your product, service or company, you don’t want to bore them to death. Focus on the key benefits and what they will do to improve their life.

At PrintMatters we can design, print, post and cleanse your list through our mail return system.

PrintMatters, we do more. enquiries@printmatters.info 01356 625 033